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21 May 2008 @ 10:28 pm
Along the Forest Road: Chapter 12  
The conclusion of Along the Forest Road.

If you've made it this far, thank you for being so patient with me. Most of my stories won't be this long now that I have our protagonists established and sent off on their adventures. The next one will be ready in a couple of weeks, and it's a short story that will go up in two parts at most. It's currently 10,250 words or so, and I hope to cut it down at least a little before I post it. After that I have one more very short story in the pipe before I need to start writing entirely new material. The one story I have in mind doesn't have much of a plot, so I hope it develops into something as I go! It's the one that I wrote the very beginning to as a response to a challenge at [info]runaway_tales  and the working title is "Desert Jackals". But first you'll see "The Shadow Duke" followed by "Barbaric Treatment".


Two nights later, just as the rim of the sun dropped below the horizon, Miller put the torch to the pyre shared by Jonn and Shim. As the flames reached to the heavens the village musicians struck up a merry tune and the festivities began. The entire village was there, even those who’d opposed standing up to the brigands, and they were determined to give their fallen heroes a good send-off.

I passed by Mora after I’d drawn another couple of pints from the hogshead Crispian had provided for the occasion. She was sitting with Becka and her parents.

...I tell you, I won’t have it any other way,” she said to them. “Me and Miller only had the one son. He’d have come of age in another year, and we all know it would’ve happened anyhow. As far as I’m concerned, your girl’s my daughter-in-law and she gets everything that goes with it. If that’s the mill someday, then so be it!”

I found Kit and handed him a tankard. “So,” he said after he took a big swallow. “What did you decide?”

About what?”

Staying here.”

Oh. Well. You know, you were right. I’m not really attached to the place, and this isn’t the life I wanted for myself when I left home. Maybe it’s time to hit the road.”

He sighed, and broke out in a wide smile. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that. It wouldn’t have been fair for me to show up like I did and drag you away if you wanted to stay. I can’t stay, you see. It’s not what I’m meant to do. But I couldn’t have left you either.”

I didn’t even bother to make sure no one was watching before I kissed him. We’d been at it a while when someone cleared her throat nearby and we broke apart.

It was Mora. “Listen pipsqueak, I just wanted to let you know I don’t blame you for anything. I’m the one who opened my big mouth. If I wasn’t willing to pay the price for it, I’d be worse than those cowards.”

Kit bowed his head, but I said to her, “You just keep opening your big mouth. If these people ever start to backslide, if they ever knuckle under to a bunch of brigands again, or if the baron wants to expand his lands this way and they’re set to give in, you remind them of what your flesh and blood bought for them.”

She squared her shoulders and lifted up her head. No, they’d never be allowed to forget.

Four days later, our packs full of provisions and all our gear, we took our leave of North Bend. Crispian was up and about, moving stiffly but full of vigor. “A surgeon too,” he said to Kit. “I’ve never been patched up so neatly. I think we can expect to hear great things of you two. Where are you headed?”

Great Market,” said Kit. “For now, we figure we can find work with the Spice Road caravans.”

It should pay fairly well,” I added. “And that far south we won’t have to worry about winter lodging.”

Good luck to you then. We owe you a lot. Our boys will start patrolling the road once travel starts up again in the spring, but it won’t be the same without you.”

A half day later we passed by the old camp. We paused at the spot where we first met and shared a kiss before continuing on our way along the forest road.

 
 
( 7 comments — Post a new comment )
graycalls[info]graycalls on May 24th, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
Inquiry
Ok, I want to read more of your fics, but I know I'll never be able to remember your name, so... Can I friend you?
lytrigian[info]lytrigian on May 24th, 2008 09:07 pm (UTC)
Re: Inquiry
Certainly! And thanks for saying something first. I never quite know what to make of people friending me when I have no idea who they are.
wittyilynamed[info]wittyilynamed on July 13th, 2008 09:43 pm (UTC)
Re: Inquiry
May I friend you also then? xD
I don't like random people plucking me up for their crew either. XD
lytrigian[info]lytrigian on July 14th, 2008 05:23 pm (UTC)
Re: Inquiry
Of course!

It's not that I dislike it. This LJ is mainly about posting my writing and I want readers, so people friending me is a good thing. It's just kind of abrupt, and I never know if they expect me to friend them back or what.
qui_te[info]qui_te on May 26th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
wait, wait wait. so that was the END? Not that it was a bad end or anything, but your story's hardly long enough to apologize for making us wait 'so long' for it.

Actually, if anything, I'd challenge you to try writing a LONGER story. work your way up to a full novel length or something. Because I think you're getting to be a really good author, and if you keep challenging yourself to write harder things you'll get even better.

And really, if there was anything that I could complain about about your stories it's that they are too short, and it feels like there's not quite enough time to get really, really into the story.

On the other hand, I laud you for not being an author that writes a story that never ends (yes it goes on and on my friend...).

I think you have wonderful little plots, and you stick with them all the way through the story, with few to no plot holes (can't think any, but also not trying). You're characters are well-thought out, and develop nicely through their experiences. Your world, too, is a curious blend of eastern and western that's interesting to read and learn about.

I'm looking forward to more written by you in the future, and keep up the good work.
Qui
lytrigian[info]lytrigian on May 26th, 2008 07:55 pm (UTC)
That's very kind of you. I do have an extended storyline in mind, but I'm not clear when it will be completed. Most of the stories in the series will be unrelated to it, especially at first. If they were, then I really should be writing a novel. But my idea here was really to devise characters and a setting where I could tell almost any kind of fantasy story, sort of how the "Hyborean Age" setting evolved for the Conan stories. My characters are very un-Conan-like, of course -- there's a silly little short-short coming up about that. At this point stories complex enough to require a novel-length treatment just don't pop into my mind. If they do, I'll have to write them.

This story was much tighter than the first one which, despite your compliment, actually did run out of plot about halfway through. A better writer than myself would have found a way to build in rising tension throughout the second half.

The cultural blend you see was accidental, but I'm glad it works for you. Had I not hit upon "Kitaro" for that character's name things would have turned out differently.

Comments like this mean a lot to me. Thank you very much, and I hope you enjoy whatever I come up with.
Theresa[info]tmelange on June 3rd, 2008 11:21 pm (UTC)
Congratulations on finishing a wonderful story! You have a great writing style where your strengths are really strong and your weaknesses easily overlooked. I would say that it was harder to get into Tam's POV in this story (compared to the first), simply because the reader doesn't know him half as well as Kit, but despite that, the story was very well done. Of particular note was your fine treatment of secondary characters, including Crispian, the village boys and even the head brigand. It is a true skill to make the bit characters come alive, no matter how long or short their appearance in the story.

Bravo. Thank you for writing and sharing, and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
 
 

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